I haven’t blogged in what feels like a year, and I miss it, but things have been so chaotic that I just don’t have the time that I used to be able to devote to it.
As you may have noticed, my postings, on here, Facebook, etsy, and instagram have essentially stopped. The production of new jewelry has essentially stopped. New gemstones have essentially stopped appearing anywhere. My communication has completely dropped off. My inspiration hit rock bottom. I have spent the last six months emotionally, mentally and physically spent.
Roughly a year ago, my life completely fell apart without warning and I’ve been attempting to pick up the pieces since then. There is a whole bunch of drama that I don’t want to go into, but suffice it to say that I am more in control of my life than I have ever been before, and I’m planning on making some big changes as a result. Unfortunately, these things take time, and I’m still at the mercy of circumstance, but I am done with waiting for things to happen, and it’s time to take the bull by the horns and make shit happen.
I would like to give a huge thank you to all of the people who have shown me by example, a compliment, lectures, a kind word, encouragement, downright cheerleading in my corner, allowing me to cry on their shoulder or spit out expletives, and even the people who have kicked me while I was down, giving me the opportunity to see just how strong I am.
Because it turns out that I’m a fucking beast.
Sometimes you lose your drive and your inspiration. I’ve been so stressed out with everything, moving and selling our house that I’ve just been blah in every aspect of my life, except for sleeping. Yesterday my husband and daughter went to work and gave me some peace and quiet. I told myself that I wouldn’t do any chores and forced myself to try to relax and get with the program. Let me deviate for a bit.
About a week ago, I won a print of a beautiful asscher cut diamond painting done by Angie Crabtree. Part of winning that particular contest was that she would name it after me. You can check out “Elle” here: Angie Crabtree
Now, I’d been following Angie around instagram for a bit, admiring her diamond painting work. She has recently gotten several inquiries asking if she would do a gemstone photograph, and she replied that she would. But she wanted a straight on high resolution photo to paint from. So I decided today was the day to challenge myself to try to get a straight on photo of a gem that was high resolution and good enough to paint from. Short story, I did not achieve my goal, but did get some nice photos anyway.
Still feeling rather blah, I sat down on my couch and turned on Netflix. I’ve mentioned before that I was a pastry chef, and I was incredibly serious about it. I went to culinary school with the mindset that I would be a savory chef, and leave that sissy pastry stuff to people who couldn’t hack it in a real kitchen. Then I started baking and pastry classes, and it was all over. I was entranced by the artistry of pastry and the fact that I felt as though I was completely unencumbered by the mediums, after all, I could take flour, sugar and butter and transform it into anything, rather than trying to mold a chicken breast into something else that didn’t make sense. Later, I would learn that that wasn’t exactly the case, but I was already too in love with the art and specific science of pastry. So I flicked through several suggested shows, and I see something called “Chef’s Table”, and figure “Why the hell not?”
I want to thank Massimo Bottura for lifting me out of my funk and reminding me of my passion for the beautiful, for pushing boundaries, and questioning traditions. And making me remember that some of the best creations come from accidents.
I feel better now.